santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.
←Rate | 12-04-2019 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In line at Target when the woman behind be says to her kid "If you don't stop fussing I'm gonna make you spend christmas with this man" and then points at me causing him to cry harder
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The dollar tree has motion sensor Christmas ornaments that blast jingle bells in case your family doesn't already hate you...
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW TO WRAP PRESENTS: - Ask somebody else to wrap presents
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The holidays are always tough on me.... One year for Christmas , I made a gingerbread house that wasn't up to code & it collapsed on a tiny, little gingerbread family. Still haunts me.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas tree by the lines of duct tape around the box it's stored in.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to know what rhymes with "Hug me" Love, Robin Thicke
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon me: [listening to The Twelve Days of Christmas] "no person wants this many birds"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to remember where I hid all of my kids' gifts will be the real Christmas miracle.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sorry about your dress." "Sorry about the nudity." "Sorry I kept calling your wife sir." - Me, the day after the office Christmas party.
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."
←Rate | 12-06-2019 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wasn't allowed to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.
←Rate | 12-07-2019 08:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie why do I spend the holidays hiding in the vents of my workplace?
←Rate | 12-07-2019 08:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 14:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop
←Rate | 12-14-2017 05:03 Comments (1)  




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