santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.

   "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.

   And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.

   A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party

   We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch

   Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.

   Cashier: do you want cash back? Me: I mean who wouldn't. There's ring of fire, I walk the line. Let's not forget his christmas album

   Bought some pre-tangled Christmas lights to save some time this year.

   I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat

   Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Birthday Jesus without a Facebook reminder.

   I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?

   I think for Christmas Mark Zuckerberg should share some of his wealth with us all we helped him make, or at least give us fonts.

   Breaking news: Santa Claus accused of sexual harassment for having girls sit on his lap and asking if they are naughty.

   The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"

   Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili's at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I've decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili's.

   Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?

   I wasn't allowed to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.

   My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!