Funny New Years Resolutions Status Messages
Posted by TJ on Saturday December 29, 2012 @ 02:58 PM
[Tags: status, facebook, humor]

Below is a list of funny status messages related to New Years and mostly Funny New Year Resolution statuses from our Funny Status Messages page.
  1. This New Years should be the best ever...At midnight I plan on plunging over the "fiscal cliff" with only a party hat, kazoo and a "fiscal parachute" made from 4,000 Sham-Wow's. more
  2. The worst part about being alone (on New Years) is I don't have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge. more
  3. Now what I do I do? I haven't made any plans for New Year's since the world was going to end.
  4. I know alcohol is never the answer, but it's always my best guess more
  5. My new years Resolution to survive the end of the world and be sane. more
  6. Alcohol is the gasoline on the highway to happiness more
  7. I am (38) years old and still don't need glasses . . . I just drink straight out of the bottle! more
  8. Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE more
  9. This just in: The next upcoming New Years Rockin' Eve is to be hosted by a Hologram of Dick Clark. more
  10. I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in. more
  11. Scrap a New Years Resolution, I want another year to goof off. more
  12. Slippery Slope of New Years Resolutions: 1st Resolution: Go to the gym every day. 2nd: Feel guilty for not going. 3rd: Pie. more
  13. Ever notice that the douche bag who says "See you next year!" on New Years Eve is always someone you wouldn't mind not seeing for the entire year? more
  14. New Years Eve Drinking Game: Every time someone says "See you next year!" take their beer punch them and chug said beer. more
  15. New Years Resolution #1 Incorporate bacon into a majority of my meals. more
  16. My new years resolution was going to be to turn over a new leaf, but I'd probably just end up smoking that too. more
  17. My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It's going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am. more
  18. My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080 more
  19. My new years resolution is act like I am interested in your new years resolution
  20. New Years Eve is one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early. I just hope I'll be sober enough to drive from work to the bar. more
  21. New Years Resolution is to meet the lady that is no longer getting sex from her husband. more
  22. My New Years Resolution is to hangout with more than 2 of my Facebook friends. more
  23. The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim to high, start small like..."im not going to fart in church." more
  24. I was going to make my new years resolution to procrastinate more, but decided to wait until next year. more
  25. Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to. more

You can view more funny status messages or submit your own here.

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