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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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It is so cold out my wife is looking forward to her next hot flash.
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01-07-2016 07:27
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Am I the only one who gets disappointed pulling up next to a Kia Soul and there isn't a hamster driving it. . .
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01-24-2016 07:51 by
JAB
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1944: 18-year-olds storm beaches, jump from planes, charge into almost certain death. 2016: 18-year-olds need a safe place. Because words do hurt.
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02-09-2016 23:57
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That was the best news conference that Obama has ever held, about all the police officers shot recently. Said no one ever...
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02-25-2016 22:14
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No babe, don't send me the nude pictures. Send me a picture of your medicine cabinet. I'd like to know what kind of psycho I'm dealing with...
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03-18-2016 06:18 by
XX-FOXY
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Im going to write bad checks at Target because I identify myself as a billionaire....Shame on my bank for restraining me from what I'm destined to be!
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04-23-2016 10:54
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Facebook is now a place full of whiny Bernie supporters waiting to be offended with whatever Hillary promises.
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04-28-2016 15:38
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I'd like to congratulate Hillary Clinton on clinching the Democratic nomination. Does anyone have her personal email address?
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06-08-2016 06:07
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Just looking at the snow angels I made. I'm definitely going to the gym tomorrow!
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01-06-2015 21:46 by
Depirts1
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The Packers did a discount double choke on Sunday
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01-19-2015 13:03 by
Otis
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Yes I am a fan , a huge fan of inappropriate behavior.
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03-02-2015 01:33
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I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
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03-13-2015 11:00
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My wife told me I had a great face for radio. That wasn't nice. At least my ex's said nice things about me, they said I was better in bed then most my friends
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03-15-2015 19:00 by
MWC
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Paper shouldn't beat rock -- maybe smooth jazz fusion or contemporary country, but that's it.
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04-13-2015 12:57 by
andrew jackson
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My mom always told me television would rot my brain. But if it wasn't for commercials, I wouldn't know that 4X4 = truck.
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05-21-2015 08:44
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I just had salmon, raspberries & pine nuts for supper. Somewhere, out there, a grizzly bear is searching for his soulmate.
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05-22-2015 05:14 by
flinnie
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It's all fun and games until they find traces of your DNA
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07-15-2014 01:24 by
Baddie
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Sometimes I wish saying "Uncle" to Life would work.
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07-22-2014 18:26 by
Huck
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Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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07-24-2014 14:35
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Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin
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08-17-2014 20:02 by
snotty
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