jack Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Overheard at grocery: "Paper or plastic, sir?" "Doesn't matter. I'm bisacksual."
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:38 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 12:47 by Jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do you save justin bieber from drowning? YOU DON'T
←Rate | 06-27-2010 06:13 by JACK Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had an appointment at the sperm bank today, but I had to call up to say I couldn't come.
←Rate | 08-30-2010 17:41 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 09:48 by Jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Ladies, If he calls you at 3:00AM…no offense, but you probably weren't first on the list.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 12:17 by Jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't spend your night watching porn and eating cheese balls
←Rate | 06-27-2010 06:17 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon discovered last weekend that if you play a Justin Biber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Biber
←Rate | 01-28-2011 16:54 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants a snuggie made out of sham wow material
←Rate | 02-27-2009 19:26 by Jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon discovered today that goldfish do not like jello.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 13:59 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon boobbies make me happy click if you like boobbies, say it boobies
←Rate | 05-24-2011 06:55 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think 7 yrs is bad luck for breaking a mirror, try a broken condom!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 10:32 by Jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 13:54 by jack Comments (5)  

   messageicon When you open a big bag of cotton balls, is the top one ment to be trown away?
←Rate | 01-28-2011 14:03 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon has the feeling I need to do the housework, gonna sit down with a coffee and wait for the feeling to pass
←Rate | 07-25-2010 07:02 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many years ago,Ozzy Osbourne asked me how he could get publicity to help his music career. I told him he needed a bright red hat. He thought I said "bite the head off a bat". And the rest,of course is history.
←Rate | 08-07-2010 11:39 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF It's been 25 something years since Charlie Bucket took over the Chocolate factory,and we are still buying Wonka Bars! I want a damn Bucket Bar! I know wonka picked the wrong kid. Veruca Salt would if had her own bar by know.
←Rate | 07-26-2010 13:30 by jack Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
←Rate | 08-08-2012 15:53 by Jack Comments (1)  

   messageicon When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. ....Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 16:33 by jack Comments (0)  


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