g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was so drunk last night when I got to the bottom of the stairs I took off my shoes, coat, top, pants and boxers as slowly as I could. I crept upstairs very quietly, it was only when I got to the top of the stairs I realised I was on the f*cking bus!
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sucks when the trailer makes a movie seem funny but when you watch it you realize that literally all the funny parts were just in the trailer.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:42 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hallmark movies give un-attractive, single girls false hope.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 00:55 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:41 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be horrible if Facebook connected to Google and posted what you are searching for.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys: When you're watching your friend play a single player game, you secretly hope they die.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 15:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waking up at 7:00 always seems better than waking up at 6:59.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 16:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not shy. I'm just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouh to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment$ directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 08:26 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3am text message "Hey are you asleep?" No I'm scuba diving, what the hell do you want?
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:19 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're wasting your life on the Internet when you keep coming back to the same sites because you can't think of anything else to do.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cookie Monster has probably kidnapped a ton of girl scouts.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 15:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how cool is that for someone her age?
←Rate | 11-06-2011 21:08 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon People complain too much on airplanes. like "For real? I cant get hi speed internet?! AND MY CHAIR DOESNT LEAN BACK!" .... "Dude, you are sitting in a chair... IN THE GOD DAMN SKY!"
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls just want to have funds.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 19:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon To do list: go to a bank wearing a ski mask. complete a normal transaction. leave as if nothing happened.
←Rate | 01-08-2012 21:27 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There comes a time when you just look at yourself in the mirror, and say" f**k it, this is as good as it's gonna get."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna have a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 22:04 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daughter: Dad I'm a lesbian Dad: ok it's cool.. Second daughter: I'm also a lesbian Dad: Christ! Doesn't anyone in this family love c0ck? Son: I do!
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:08 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have that face when we try to look happy when we open a birthday card with no money.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 18:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:21 by g0re Comments (0)  




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