Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I assume nowadays the Christmas family portrait theme involves four people staring into their electronic devices next to the Christmas tree...

   On this St. Patrick's Day please remember this: Alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more

   i like to follow random people, star their tweets and throw in a trophy then quickly unfollow them. makes me a twitter ninja

   I'm watching Lionel Ritchie, and Big and Rich are doing Brick House. I am not convinced country singers need to stick to country, and leave the R&B to people with rhythm!

   wish I had spidey powers...i would shoot a web from my ana! glan and build a house

   remember guys...try to keep her as a love bird...dont do anything to make her an angry bird

   This morning I put my phone into airplane mode, and as soon as I did, Kareem Abjul Jabbar knocked on my door dressed in a pilot's uniform.

   Did Chris Brown really beat rihanna, or did rihanna get to close when Chris was dancing? I dunno I wasn't there.

   Do not forget kids "crack is cheap , crack is whack". Rip Whitney.

   That moment when you leave your facebook up around your friends when you get a msg, friend request, and a few notifications to make it look like your popular

   Money is paper, paper come from trees thus money grow on trees!

   I love deer season, Especially when I am driving alone in my Blazer , it's amazing how fast I purposely turn into a Comacazi pilot when I see a deer in the middle of the road-

   So its only B3G0 fool who gets away with re-p0sting old material up in this b!tch?

   happy father's day to all my daddy's... no homo though

   uses the exclamat!on po!nt a l!ttle too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   staying away from those suckers because they will give you cavities, and keep your grass short so you can see those snakes!!!!!

   Quotations i got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes, hate in my heart, love in my mind

   wonders if who ever reads this would they ever make it to the end.. hehe they finished what losers

   Likes her coffee catffinated

   Now is the time to get ready for 2010! Whatever your plans, write them out and map your way!