Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon It's so hot that I've been sweating more than a drug smuggler going through coustoms.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men.... Try role reversal in bed with your wife. And you have the headache for once.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Read a weather book about rainbows called Rainbows by Sunny Showers."
←Rate | 07-20-2018 21:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scary movie called the Nun is coming out. Nun of the movie is scarier than the previous movie The Priest
←Rate | 08-17-2018 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does it mean when you drink an entire bottle of gin by yourself?
←Rate | 08-25-2018 04:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:34 by luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ya OK .... The extent of my being a real tough assed dude .... Is kinda limited to humming "Bad to the Bone!" ..... While eating my smoked baby back ribs. Like I say .... I'm a real Tough Ass!!!
←Rate | 05-12-2016 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman looked DEEP into my eyes today, I was feeling it, then she ruined it by saying I needed glasses.
←Rate | 06-01-2016 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish that Toyota girl would go places.
←Rate | 02-24-2014 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s all fun & games until feelings & emotions get involved then it becomes life.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you break the monotony.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to see a volcano erupt because I have an interest in geology. I want to see one erupt under your house because you're an a$$hole
←Rate | 11-28-2013 06:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1million bucks from the new fantasy game doesn't go far. gas alone gonna take half when you buy any car.
←Rate | 02-05-2012 20:20 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon regretting his decision to celebrate hump day by getting a camel tattooed on his big toe!
←Rate | 11-23-2011 18:40 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon pounding vicobeer at 11 in the morning!
←Rate | 04-28-2012 10:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why man up when you can down a margarita?
←Rate | 05-04-2012 10:42 by Crystal Kay Comments (0)  


   messageicon If some of you all put your heads together..We would only get some dandruff.
←Rate | 05-18-2012 21:18 by JWolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon just been given two weeks to live.The girlfriends gone away for a fortnight.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 08:42 by basketcase Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally know what I wana be for Halloween this year....18 Again! How scary would that be!
←Rate | 10-26-2011 21:46 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is amazing how life is full of the most beautiful things, some people see them as beautiful and bright, some see them as dark and mysterious, is there always a bright light at the end? I'm just glad I can see them!
←Rate | 11-05-2011 08:14 Comments (0)  




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