Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I've never bei have never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I'm ready

   I chewed my gum for so long, it completely lost it's sweetness, elasticity and turned into goop. So I spit it out. Now I know how all the ladies feel.

   froget the world ending in 2012 , my inspection sticker ends in 2012!!

   NICE GILL MORGAN... WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

   thinks they should make one of those laser pointer things that instantly detect STD's so you can point it at people when they try to shake your hand or hug you.

   12/21/12 falls on a Friday. Looks like the world's had enough of Rebecca Black.

   The other day I went for a job interview, do you think it was a bad idea to ask if they ever press charges?

   OMG.......If you go on Google's page, the Google loggo is blackout. The too buttons that are left is "Google Search", and "I'm feeling lucky". Unfortunately my project is due and I'm not so lucky. yeesh(-__-)

   Only half an hour to Republic day. Hope you all are photoshopping your DP with the tricolor background already.

   Internet thugs, they all need hugs.

   never play a player, because you wont see you've lost till suddenly you've lost everything

   A successful diet means no longer caring "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

   Frankincense: an aromatic resin used since ancient times in religious rites. Do not confuse with Frankincense's Monster, an affront to God.

   Does anyone really "Laugh Out Loud" when they write LOL?

   I eat all my food doggy style.

   BOSS: Built On Self Success.

   I can wake up at random intervals, crying and hungry too, so screw you babies.

   No matter what they take from me, I'm pretty sure drugs took my dignity...

   nothing says I love you like saying, "if I cant have you , no one can" and demanding a reply with a .38 special

   If you guys ever visit NASA don't go on the Sally Ride.