Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
←Rate | 07-21-2017 10:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
←Rate | 01-11-2017 14:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 12-25-2012 19:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I've learned anything from social media, it's that we live on a planet that's disproportionately filled with inhabitants in possession of single digit IQ's.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 08:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard that the Japanese are going to clone a Woolly Mammoth discovered in Russia. Really Japan, really? Did you not learn anything from that time with Godzilla?
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me and my recliner...we go way back.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 11:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm in a book store and a liberal clerk helped me. I asked for the new Trump book on his immigration policy. She said, "F-you! Get out and stay out! I go, "Yes, that's it, do you have it in paperback?"
←Rate | 01-25-2017 10:08 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "Yep, that's the one", I said.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish folks would stop these Passive Aggressive attempts at trying to guilt us into advancing their religious, social, or political causes by ending the posts with, "Let's see how many of my true friends will post this." PI$$ OFF!
←Rate | 02-15-2012 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon SCORE! Some girl on my friends list asked me to meet her for drinks tonight! All I need to do is hit the ATM and lose 70 lbs by 8 O'Clock.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon February 15th. The Black Friday for Chocoholics.
←Rate | 02-15-2012 06:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 13:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon No, I haven't been sick. I haven't been busy. I haven't been away on vacation. The reason I haven't returned your calls is because I can't stand you.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 07:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being single at this time is not based on my wanting freedom to do what I want....It's more due to the fact that I want the freedom to not have to do what someone else wants.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 09:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon White Castle is down to their last pound of ground beef. That ought to be good for another million burgers.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 21:38 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember the protests back in 2011 when Obama stopped the Iraqi refugees from entering the States for six months? Neither do I.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 08:22 by Mickey Comments (3)  

   messageicon Murphy's Law 2013: The McDonald's is always on the opposite side of the street from the direction in which you're travelling.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 15:42 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 08:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's the difference between a Rottweiler and an insane ex? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."
←Rate | 03-08-2013 08:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would unfortunately become the Misinformation Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  

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