Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon @Guys - If we just met you and we're making out on the dance floor, chances are it wasn't your dance moves that got you this lucky.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't ever see the cup half full....and by "cup" I mean jock-strap.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:11 by C\'mon SON Ray Comments (0)  


   messageicon like a good neighbor state farm is there....with the winning lotto numbers
←Rate | 03-14-2011 19:30 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whose idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
←Rate | 03-15-2011 05:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this had been a status update, the Attention Signal you just read would have been followed by official status, news or general BS. This concludes this test of the Emergency I Don't have a Status Update.
←Rate | 04-07-2011 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I die my gravestone is going to have a "DisLike" button before facebook does!
←Rate | 04-07-2011 10:26 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rsvp to friends Event that I wasent invited to Yes facebook I would love to be creepy. Facebook makeing us creepy one Event at a time
←Rate | 07-01-2011 03:39 by Dan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to drink straight from the carton because I'm a badass!
←Rate | 07-09-2011 13:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon INSTALLING RAIN FOR TEXAS ████ 44% DONE... please wait. Installation failed. Please try again.404 error:Rain not found. Weather "Rain" cannot be located. The weather you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed or temp. unavai
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder why some people wait 'til they're in their cars and stopped at traffic lights to pick their noses?
←Rate | 08-31-2011 10:08 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon B*I*T*C*H - Babe In Total Control of Herself
←Rate | 08-31-2011 18:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barbie is going to be so happy. She is getting over the fact that Ken comes in a different box.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people ask me if I want to stay on their friends list I just send a short message saying "Don't Taze me Bro"
←Rate | 09-08-2011 16:23 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Algebra is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry.
←Rate | 12-22-2017 02:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldnt want to live in the s**thole even if it was called Hati
←Rate | 01-14-2018 16:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump claims to only be 236 pounds. His pot belly, turkey neck and jowls plead the fifth.
←Rate | 09-17-2016 16:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Four years has past and we's not alls rich yet. What in the moonshine happened?
←Rate | 10-13-2020 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there no professional ball scratchers? On behalf of men everywhere, let me say this... they'd make a fortune.
←Rate | 02-23-2021 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Halloween, it is the one day of the year people don't question my sanity.
←Rate | 10-11-2021 08:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone over here doing the 10 year challenge while metaverse is doing the facial recognition challenge.
←Rate | 01-05-2022 21:43 Comments (0)  




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