Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   been running up to strangers, tapping them shouting "YOUR IT!" and running away.

   The Game Angry Birds... Should really change its name to Angry People!

   SORRY HATER I don't speak bulls**t; but, I do know sign-language now, read my middle finger.

   does anybody use typewriter still?

   Anyone know aspertame was made first as a ant poison? really..google it

   Fun thing to do. Location: Shopping Mall. Items needed: Old Atari Controller and a friend as cool as you are. Stick the cord down the back of your friends pants and pretend to steer him/her around the mall with the joystick. DO IT!!!

   I want to explore every inch and curve or your anatomy; I want to become fluent in YOUR body language.

   If the rubber doesn't fit, don't do it.

   I guess killer bees have taken a back seat since pit bulls are roaming the streets.

   Dear Chubby Chasers. Lucky for you, they're not hard to catch.

   I be talking fast as hell at the gas station when I'm broke . . . lemmeget5on2

   not understanding why so many guys are wearing "TAPS" Tight-ass-pants.

   Can you still get a girl pregnant on a "pull out" couch?

   wifey material " = down for you through whatever , holds it down , support system , loving , faithful, & sucks you up whenever you want it

   No matter how bad thing get in life, I can always cheer myself up by thinkin. I could have the reputation of Michael Jackson.

   Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it

   S-International Sarcasm Society "Like we need your support"

   Wouldn't it be cool to have that magical magic marker for people that stores have for money?? Yanno, to see if they're real!!

   Had to fix something on my car and asked my mom to bring me the philips. She came back in less that 4 minutes with some Philips Milk of Magnesia. Some serious confusion has set in

   Vidal Sassoon is mourned by all the suicide blonde's who DYED at their own hands.