Nobody Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Nobody': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 5

   messageicon Just place a STUDENT DRIVER sticker on top of your car, and suddenly no one suspects you of drunk driving at 8am.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 13:15 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 14:25 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon My local post office uses four checkouts unless it's really busy; then they use one.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 07:20 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the biggest lies ever: The doctor will be with you in a couple of minutes.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 13:30 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people ask me "Plz" because it's shorter than "Please" I tell them "No" because it's shorter than "Yes."
←Rate | 03-21-2012 10:28 by Nobody Comments (4)  


   messageicon I didn't text you. Vodka texted you.
←Rate | 03-14-2012 13:27 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's been down for 15 minutes and I'm freaking out because I don't know if anyone's having babies, eating food, or sad about work.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 13:36 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Patient.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 08:49 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't drink so that I'm more fun to be around. I drink so that you're more fun to be around.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 10:45 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone does not appreciate your presence, give them a taste of your absence and see how they like it.
←Rate | 04-24-2012 01:02 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 04:13 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should know you'll get loud when you start drinking. It says right there on the label, "Alcohol by volume."
←Rate | 04-01-2012 11:08 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 13:42 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no sex like the ‘we haven't had it for awhile' kind of sex.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 22:47 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 09:57 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what you see in me, but daily I'm thrilled that you see whatever it is that you see.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 13:47 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon I woke up one day and your name just didn't make me smile anymore.
←Rate | 03-13-2012 12:37 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always "going to be okay" when it's not happening to you.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 13:45 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes Karma takes way too long. I would rather beat the crap out of you NOW!
←Rate | 03-15-2012 12:46 by Nobody Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust anyone that is nice to you, but rude to the waiter.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 13:43 by Nobody Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left