Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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(_̅_̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅̅_̅__̅_̅_̅()~~~ passs it!!! 
It's good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl
All these revelations of sexual harassment, groping etc coming out of Hollywood is horrible...but how is Richard Dawson not being mentioned? That dude used to do it right on TV (Family Feud)!
Gonorrhea would have been a good name for a diarrhea medicine... #DeepThoughts
You see in America, Soccer is usually a game for kids who are too small or too untalented to play baseball or football. I mean, hell, even HogWild played Little League baseball so that should tell something about the talent pool of kids left over to play
Anyone fancy a 68??? It's like a 69 except you go down on me and I owe you one!!
Rush Limbaugh is like Frosty The Snowman if someone put the magical hat on a pile of poop.
27 Club: Jimi Hendrix [✓] Janis Joplin [✓] Jim Morrison [✓] Kurt Cobain [✓] Amy Winehouse [✓] Lady Gaga [ ] Justin Bieber [ ]
Why is paracetamol white?......... because it works.
cooking an Indian tonight. It's the best way to get rid of the evidence before he's reported missing
Training for the next Olympic games
Only when the last tree has died, the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money..!!
hates men that treat every woman with Bipolar, Stop being an a**hole in a crowd and being nice when you two are alone, just stop being a c*ck and tell her what you really want!"
Earlier today I saw the facebook group "Kids vs Cancer". It turns out writing "My money is on cancer everytime" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
Irony Definition: Ryan Dunn dying from that same thing that made him famous.
Why do American's make lousy dog walkers ? ..... They can't hold on to a Lead !
So any1 else think our's is the only nation involved every year in a war since inception? Wow! Coincidence? Or blood thirst.?
Look left ═════> You failed.
Salt-n-Pepa probably have salt-n-pepa pubes by now.
just waking up... (yawn) So, did Jesus see his shadow when he came out of the cave? 