Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   typed "X-men" into a google image search and didn't quite get the result I wanted.... Who the heck is this Wolvarine guy anyway?

   you know ur ugly when ur body gets more likes than ur face...............

   Frank's Red hot & Oral Sex...Ya I put that $hit on everything....

   in the stickiest situation ive been stuck in since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

   Because I was born in the 90s I have, so far, lived through 3 decades, 2 centuries and 2 millenniums and I am yet to be 20!

   For the people who believe in this Rapture nonsense. Here's some information that will shock your gullible mind. In new Zealand it is now: Saturday May 21 and the current time is 7:42 AM ...havent heard anything from them yet.

   I'm bad with stains. Does anyone know how to get fat out from under a t-shirt?

   That awkward moment when you and the girl you just met ran out of things to talk.

   NO....Anthony Weiner did not tweet a pic of his weiner....he forward one of Clinton's from Monica's view!!

   if I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?

   I went outside once.... The animation was alright, but the characters and story line sucked.

   Hey K-Mac you dumbass. People walking across the street have the right away. Damn teenagers

   spent 2 years in Siberian prison, only to find out it closed after the first month of being there...

   iTeam It's about time Apple, it's about time!

   If you see only one hilarious movie about wacky bridesmaids this week... make it “Thor.”

   the world is ending Saturday??? Oh well this is bogus, it was supposed to be December 21, 2012?

   As I took it to my lips to taste, my mouth was suddenly overflowing with a creamy filling, my tongue licking as much as I could as fast as I could… God, I love cream donuts

   It's St. Patty's Day! Does the green stuff that I'm blowing out of my nose count?

   considering their age and current physiques, I think Arnold Schwarzenegger VS Sylvester Stallone would be a great street fight, although Stallone has a very slight edge

   Charlie Sheen marched into JG Wentworth and got his money back no questions asked.