Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Good morning. Okay so money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy bacon. Close enough.
←Rate | 05-08-2020 10:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.
←Rate | 05-11-2020 13:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday is Memorial Day. I plan on showing my grandsons how to eat corn on the cob typewriter style. The hard part is going to be explaining a typewriter. šŸŒ½
←Rate | 05-20-2020 07:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 09:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone can explain to me how stealing and destroying is a panacea for easing racial tensions, I'm all ears.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretending that looters, rioters, assaulters and arsonists are "peaceful protesters" does not make you look like a sympathizer. It makes you look like an id!ot..
←Rate | 06-02-2020 06:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What's in the toilet of the USS Enterprise? A. The Captain's log.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 08:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will the last person to leave NY remember to bring a pizza?
←Rate | 06-03-2020 11:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Despite what you may think, a unicorn isn't the most magical animal. A pig is. You feed it slop, it makes bacon. It's magic I tell you.
←Rate | 06-06-2020 22:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm into body building. When you consider that the body I built is a rotunda.
←Rate | 06-07-2020 13:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 95% of my news feed is now agenda driven. The other 5% is: "There's a bed and a chair in a room. If someone enters the room, how many pancakes each did the seat cushion and the mattress eat?
←Rate | 06-10-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who cares about Elmer Fudd's rifle. I'm way more concerned about them taking Marvin the Martian's Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.šŸ—¼
←Rate | 06-14-2020 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "I'll have a large coffee, no cream." Coffee guy: "We ain't got no cream, hows about with no milk?"
←Rate | 06-17-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm preemptively preparing for the upcoming pancake shortage. šŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„ žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„žšŸ„ž
←Rate | 06-18-2020 02:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's sā‚¬x life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." I go, "Yep, that's the one!"
←Rate | 06-18-2020 06:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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