Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They should change the name of our galaxy from the Milky Way to the Snickers. Let's face it, we're all nuts.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 13:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention! Due to the extremity of Hurricane Laura's sustained winds, the States of Texas and Louisiana have just issued a toupee' alert.
←Rate | 08-26-2020 23:04 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Betting on the Kentucky Derby is like paying for a hooker. You drop a load of cash on two minutes of excitement.
←Rate | 09-05-2020 08:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, I've decided to come clean. The reason I sit at the kids' table on Thanksgiving is just so I can hide the green bean casserole under my grandson's plate.
←Rate | 11-23-2020 07:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The greatest comedians don't say funny things, they say things funny.
←Rate | 12-05-2020 22:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 08:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The subject of entomology really bugs me.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 12:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.
←Rate | 02-26-2021 09:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to social correctness, BIack Sabbath will now be called, "A Dark Shade Of The Day Of Rest."
←Rate | 06-21-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like Crisco in a can. White, round and filled with fat.
←Rate | 08-07-2020 15:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I applied for a job at Bed Bath & Beyond. They put me in the Beyond department.
←Rate | 09-06-2020 16:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 95% of my news feed is now agenda driven. The other 5% is: "There's a bed and a chair in a room. If someone enters the room, how many pancakes each did the seat cushion and the mattress eat?
←Rate | 06-10-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being old is like being young. When ur young, you have to wait after you eat to go swimming. When you're old, you have to wait after you take Viagra to have sex. Either way, you have to wait an hour before you can go for a "dip."
←Rate | 08-28-2020 08:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joined the Flat Earth Society. I'm hoping they see my stomach the same way they see the planet.
←Rate | 11-15-2020 13:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2021 Reality Check: You're not actually expecting things to get any better at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, are you?
←Rate | 12-28-2020 07:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe now that we’ve kept Joe busy writing his name for a week, we should move onto shapes and colors.
←Rate | 02-01-2021 12:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this without being on any medication.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 06:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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