Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Advertisers – white heterosexuals still use fabric softener, buy insurance and walk their dogs.
←Rate | 01-25-2021 07:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kamala has had more politicians in her than the White House, the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial combined.
←Rate | 02-02-2021 08:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on the phone earlier with a friend in upstate New York. We touched on the weather. She said, "It's wet, gloomy and mostly in the 40's. I said that sounds like my sƐx life.
←Rate | 10-13-2020 17:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waiter: Would you like a Chef's Salad, Caesar Salad or Cobb Salad salad with your ribeye? Me: None. I don't eat the food my food eats.
←Rate | 01-26-2021 21:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you enter into a relationship and discover she has 5 kids and a Yorkshire Terrier, give it up. There's no way you'll ever take precedence over the Yorkie.😛
←Rate | 02-18-2021 08:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Upside: I had a dream that NASCAR teamed up with NASA and came up with a flying car. Downside: It only made left turns.
←Rate | 02-18-2021 17:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this without being on any medication.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 06:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This isolation thing is going to make Palm Sunday mean something completely different to a lot of people.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't find any masks, gloves, or hand sanitizers. Long story short, I just now paid for the premium version of McAfee antivirus. Let's what happens.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon North Korea leader Kim Jong-un is presumed either dead or in a vegetative state. Most likely Bok Choy.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 15:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who cares about Elmer Fudd's rifle. I'm way more concerned about them taking Marvin the Martian's Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.🗼
←Rate | 06-14-2020 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 10:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being old is like being young. When ur young, you have to wait after you eat to go swimming. When you're old, you have to wait after you take Viagra to have sex. Either way, you have to wait an hour before you can go for a "dip."
←Rate | 08-28-2020 08:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I joined the Flat Earth Society. I'm hoping they see my stomach the same way they see the planet.
←Rate | 11-15-2020 13:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2021 Reality Check: You're not actually expecting things to get any better at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, are you?
←Rate | 12-28-2020 07:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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