Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Man who fish in other man's well, will problably get crabs!

   the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

   says the hardest part of being independent is that people may think you're better off alone.

   never regret doing things that will make you happy. we have but one life to live.. it's too short to dwell on negativities.

   Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.

   why is it that things that dont interest you suddenly seem exciting when you have serious work to do?

   A bit of a Procrastanator, i've been meaning to put that as my status since last week!

   never made a fool of any guy that I dated. But then again, I the guys I dated were the "do it yourself" types.

   Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

   I will consider running a half-marathon the first time I see someone smiling while doing it.

   An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

   Hey guy with the flat billed hat turned sideways and pants half off, I'm pretty sure the world will never take you seriously, ever! But, way to keep trying

   The unemployment numbers are twice as bad if you count people who describe themselves as "bloggers."

   thinks that it's people that give drinking a bad name.

   That thing people do with their mouth when they're using their tongue to get food out of their teeth, I bet there's porn for that.

   feeling politely confrontational this evening. Would anyone care for a piece of me?

   still amazed that the technologically challenged are drawn like moths to a flame towards the Self-Check out Lanes at every large Grocery.

   The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

   You know what I like to do on Facebook? Answer my own questions.

   saw Inception earlier....now I am spinning things on my desk to see if maybe I am dreaming.