Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages
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Remember back in the day when you would make a collect call and try to yell the info to the other party before you were disconnected?
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To the redheaded guy on CSI Miami...you're not Clint Eastwood so knock it off!!!
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Safe sex back in my day was not getting caught.
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Dear Employer, I have worked insane amounts of hours for you; shed blood; even went through a divorce because of you. Is it too much to ask for some decent toilet paper up in here?
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We've all seen that person on Social Media who likes to debate things as if they are a college professor. Dude...you're arguing with someone who uses "dat"
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On this day thirty years ago.. Mtv still played music videos.
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Dear Mr. Coffee, Do you even manufacture a coffee pot that doesn't spill when you pour out of it? -Early Riser
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Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A
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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
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If you didn't make one corner of an old metal swing set pop up in the backyard, you sucked growing up!
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I love my wife, and God bless her for packing my lunch. But when you whip out a fruit roll up on a construction site, you get looks!
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A bad Walmart greeting just ruins the whole experience.
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will not discriminate against the following: race, religion, sex, or creed. However UGLY... I have to draw the line somewhere!
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I've yet to check the status of my Lotto ticket. My biggest fear is that for last five hours here at work, I've put up with unnecessary bull****
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Hey toilette paper manufactures, you think you can make the last six sheets a courtesy red? Thanks
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Wow, just drove by the gas station and the guy changing prices has a chair camping out...no good can come of this!!
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You know you're country when you use a horse trailer to move.
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Teacher: Imagine you're in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do? Boy: Easy, stop imagining.
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Ten minutes left in the workday. This is where I use the restroom, and wash my hands for a long time.
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Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
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