Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The lack of Fathers Day cards is making me think I should have skeeted in her mouth instead.

   I see your re-p0st and raise you a hand jerking off motion.

   I wonder what Susan Boyle got for Fathers Day.,

   Today you should prank call your single guy friends using google voice to change the number and tell them you are calling from the Maury Povich show.

   Happy Father's Day to all the single mothers who do both roles due to dead beat dads.

   Just sent out 200 text messages to random phone numbers saying "Happy Father's Day! I'm pregnant!" Now listening to the police scanner for my daily entertainment.

   Single mothers had mothers day, they dont do the role of a dad so grow up

   hey single moms go have your own day someplace else, this is our day so make me a sammich with BACON and stfu

   I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to do from behind.

   Anyone who says single moms don't do both roles of a mother & father when the father doesn't spend time or money with his children is THE DEAD BEAT we are referring to!!

   I just read that 44% of high school and college students won't be able to find a summer job due to the economy! Add in the military coming home looking for jobs,and I have no idea what Obama is thinking!

   Remember If you don`t stand for something, you`ll fall for anything!

   Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.

   You sent me a picture of your pen!s, so I sent one back and I'm the a$$hole?! I thought you wanted to exchange pictures...

   I'm actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.

   Right all wrongs. Settle everything with love and understanding.

   It's fend for yourself night and you know what that means...cold cereal for dinner.

   single moms do not get to celebrate fathers day, go grab your 50 Shades book and zip it

   Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

   I need to do something reproductive today. Happy Father's Day