Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.

   Call Me. I can't wait to tell you about my vow of silence!

   I don't understand why people don't see the beauty in asthma attacks, Personally, I find them breathtaking.

   I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens. If I'm trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

   celebrating MLK day by drinking MILK and eatin' some cookies...

    says celebrating MLK day by drinking MILK and eatin' some cookies...Oreos as a matter of fact. However I'm seperating the dark from the white part :Y

   You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook..... turn your computer off.... go to bed, roll over & put the covers on you and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.

   wonders if there is a connection beween Jennifer Hudson's Weight loss & Hostess filing Chapter 11

   somebody stole my bookbag, now I dont have a pillow to use in class.. .

   ~• << Picture of me when I was younger, I was so cute. :D

   I now know that asking "How 'bout those Packers" gets you a different response from gay men verses the straight ones.

   I woke up humping the wall of my pillow fort, in case you were wondering how my s@x life is going.

   "Take a breath... take it deep" ...brought to you by "Rihanna's daily health tips"

   It doesn't matter how many times I find myself, coz there'll always be someone telling me to get lost.

   Freedom and Human rights are more significant in life compared to science, innovations, modernization, self-righteousness and bigotry... Happy Martin Luther King Day America

   Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

   it just me? Or are the three finalists at the end of Funniest Home Videos never the funniest?

   I hate it when feelings get in the way of smart decisions.

   Whoopi Goldberg and Flava Flav should just gone head & admit that Lil Wayne is their child.

   Sarcasm is just one of the many free services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.