Griff Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'Griff': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 3

   messageicon I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:52 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:57 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 22:36 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party, freak. My dog is getting married
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:06 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon this morning there was ants all over my counter in the kitchen, I killed them all except one so he could go back tell his friends I'm serious about no ants in my house!
←Rate | 05-10-2011 09:28 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Facebook gets any slower, I'm just going to jog to each of your houses and shout out stuff.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:50 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't start calling me 'hero' but this lady collapsed at the grocery store and I was the first one to call for a clean up in Aisle 3.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw a charity appeal in the newspaper the other day, and it read “Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water”. And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 09:06 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ''Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?''
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:52 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
←Rate | 07-29-2012 09:39 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:55 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
←Rate | 06-29-2013 09:46 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to be the first person to walk on the sun...I know what ur thinking an I've got it all figured out...I'm going at nite
←Rate | 05-09-2011 09:32 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:59 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:51 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
←Rate | 06-29-2013 09:43 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon only eats chocolate covered caramel because that's how I Rolo™
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:37 by Griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her ass.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:46 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do magazines really have to add "Alive" to "Sexiest Woman" or am I just grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?
←Rate | 07-29-2012 09:46 by griff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:25 by Griff Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left