Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Alright! Drunk me from last night made hungover me some epic sandwiches for lunch today. Man, I love that guy!" :)

   So exactly how many "become a fan of" or "join a groups" that promises a free something does it take for people to finally figure out that they don't work? I mean good lord, gullible much?

   I think before people are allowed to protest and try to overturn an election, The protesters should first be required to take a basic Civics 101 class.

   They say so many people die because of alcohol... Perhaps they never realised how many of them are born because of it.

   Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's chocolate involved.

   i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.

   It's annoying when people take an unattractive quality they have and try to make it sound cute. "Umm I'm kind of a control freak. Like, I just REALLY like things my way. Ahaha(((:" B!tch shut up.

   Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.

   Remember, over half of all cases of people wrecking themselves happen within five minutes of not checking themselves.

   There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those that recognize how diverse people are, and those that think there are only 2 kinds of people

   I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!

   I don’t know why people get embarrassed when they take a magazine to the toilet, you should see the looks I get when I take my plunger.

   BREAKING NEWS: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags...People who love picking up dog crap with their bare hands rejoice.

   I was so drunk last night at the bar. When I walked across the dance floor to get another drink I won the dance competition.

   Some people should not be allowed to have cell phones in their cars. Not me though, I can drive with my knee.

   went to Wal-Mart this afternoon and discovered that some people think Febreeze is a substitution for doing laundry.

   Someone needs to help Rihanna, she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name

   Starting to think Herman Cain only ran for President so people would find out how much he gets laid.

   People who write "WASH ME" on dirty cars are the same people who think "Pull My Finger" is the most hilarious game ever

   Some people have this amazing ability in life, the ability to still care for people they shouldn't give a damn about, people they have every right to hate because of all the sh*t they have put them through. I am not one of those people!