Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge

   If I ever come back to life as an appliance, I hope it's not as a refrigerator. I bet it's pretty annoying the way people try to cram all those magnets and pictures on you.

   I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it...

   It wasn't my fault I got drunk!!! I was thirsty ;) x

   I park in handicapped spaces and watch handicapped people pulling handicapped faces.

   some people can make the world a better place by putting a shotgun in thier mouths.

   If this soo called God dwells inside of us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting.

   People who live in Orlando that go to Disney World are more ret@rded than New Yorkers who visit the Statue Of Liberty.

   Superman wears glasses, everyone thinks he’s a different person. I wear glasses people say: “Hey, why are you wearing glasses?”

   I don't need anger management. I need for people to stop pissing me off.

   does PayPal call anyone else 40 times a day from a 208-515-7481? Them people need to get a life! LOL, I'm not paying you!!

   I'm worried less about who is vaccinated or not than I do about people wearing DEODORANT !

   If I live to be 100, I'm going to make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people... like claim I ate a pinecone every single day.

   ↖↖↖↖↖↖↖↑↗↗↗ ↗↗ ↗ ←← Fake people everywhere→→ ↙↙↙↙↙↙↙↓↘↘↘ ↘ ↘ ↘

   8) A crowded elevator smells completely different to short people.

   Sometimes I try to reason with people, but invariably they start talking again.

   Texas to plan another White Nationalist rally on 9/11. If this doesn't tell you the people in Texas are f-ed up, then there is no hope for you and should stop being an American all together.

   Just figured a way people with no healthcare insurance but do have car insurance can enjoy the same benefits .... Whenever your sick....just crash your bike ...car or truck into a tree

   i think schools should start teaching chinese and punjabi,since thats the only people that work at tim hortons!

   Don't worry Adam Levine, most people hate your country also. It's not only you.