MM Funny Status Messages

   You can't sell electric cars if gas is cheap. If you don't think that's part of the plan, you're not paying attention.

   Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.

   The best gift of all, is freedom and health. Merry Christmas

   can't get this nicorette stuff lit.

   It's been said we will see the Bengals in the Super Bowl when hell freezes over... Well, here we go.

   i got addicted to nicotine gum..now I smoke trying to kick the habbit...

   You have four years to fix this country Joe. What are you doing instead? Talking about Trump every single day!

   Yes Amazon, I'm still watching. Stop being so insecure.

   Holding a grudge don't make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn't make you weak; it sets you free.

   Haha I can see it now "pot stamps" for people that can't afford to buy their pot.

   On Facebook, never judge a woman by his profile picture.

   People can't go to sleep if any of their phone apps need to be updated, but will drive their car with the check engine light on until it explodes.

   Happy MILK day...!

   What's with everyone calling it "Holiday decorations" back in my day, we called it a little something like Christmas.

   Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves...?

   Seeking one-night stand... Possibly 2 because I have two lamps.

   Jesus saves... He must shop at Wall*Mart...

   Saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.

   You suddenly realize that you're all grown up that moment when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kicking it under the fridge.

   wishes Brett would just go away. Favre, Favre away.