Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The people at the pet store sure do get mad when you walk in dressed as Mario and start hitting turtles with a big hammer

   Studies show that 36% of people rushed to the hospital die on their way. Such a coincidence seeing that 36% of ambulance drivers are women.

   8 out of 10 people would rather destroy the planet than give up their jobs. Irony at its finest.

   There's a thin line between Nirmal and Crazy people , and that line is usually cocaine

   there is so many fun things to do at home that alot of people don't really think about doing but would if they were told about it.. Sitting in Hot tub and playing wii at the same time is one of them."

   You know you spend too much time on facebook when you start refering to people by their first, maiden, and last name!

   I wish more people would put their highways up for adoption. So many people want one and are unable to have their own.

   Adult gummy Melatonin: because while fat, drunk and stupid might be the American norm, fat, drunk, stupid and sleep deprived is unacceptable.

   What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?

   there is one thing I really don't find funny, and that is people trying to be funny

   On the way home today rush hr traffic I let 8 people in and got 2 waves.should have a rocket launcher ..just saying..KABOOM

   dear FB... I assure you, the people you think I may know... not only do I not know... but i'm also pretty sure I wouldn't want to

   BBM is just a support group for people who can't afford an iPhone.

   Some people were dropped as a baby, but you were clearly thrown at a wall.

   An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.jj

   Some people don't poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7.

   How many people ending a Facebook conversation by liking the last comment.If so like this comment

   Drinking beer and watching Nascars , People ask me what's my favorite kind of beer I tell am an open one!

   I wasnt that drunk man. Dude you asked a bum if you could bum a cig.

   People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented