Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   When going voting I always feel like I am playing a game of pacman with the people out front trying to get you to sign stuff

   I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?

   Random Person: "It's hard to to get people to unfollow me on Twitter." Kayne West: "Hold my beer.".

   They say that opposites attract...... So I'm looking for a drug adicted unemployed drunk girl.

   Teens spend 72% of their time on their phones and 28% of their time on other people's phones.

   Thank you myfitnesspal for helping me track my calorie intake. Apparently I'm eating enough every day to keep three people alive.

   Weed is for people who cant afford cocaine.

   I need me a stress ball, because apparently squeezing people's hands isn't classed as good customer service.

   I see people are still talking about their spirit animals. They put mine to sleep so I can't go in on that one.

   It is very important to encourage personal growth. I often try to encourage myself to grow past making fun of stupid people.

   Most people learn from lessons others have to be taught...

   Throwing ice at people because they need to chill...

   Drunk girls whisper in caps lock.

   Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they're the ones who make money fixing people's teeth?

   Just like all relationships, the people that I have been FB friends with the longest get on my nerves the most.

   Single people: If you're looking for someone 10+ years younger than you don't tell us about how you want someone that "respects" you...

   After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that’s also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, “You mean I’ve been eating a dangerous chemical?” While most people were like, “You mean I can eat my

   I hate when my mom tells people I'm 391 months old.

   if everyone I knew was an artist and they could paint their lives on a canvas, then I'm afraid I would see far too many people using sandpaper instead of a paintbrush. Tragic.

   and XX are now friends via the 'People You May Know Who Are a Tool' tool.