Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I’m starting to think some people only have girlfriends so they can walk slowly in public in front of some guy in a hurry

   There are three reasons which you are inflicting pain on others and destroying all good or bad morals: 1-you're a psychologically twisted serial killer who's not get caught yet, 2- poor , or 3- a fool who quickly mimics people's ideas without thinking.

   Some of you people could use water mixed with a little whiskey and some electricals.. Just sayin

   Damnnn, We about to get it cracking, like fat people on thin ice

   The feeling you get when youre driving & you see a cop. And youre not drunk or high, but you think 'god I hope he doesnt notice I'm driving'

   Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

   "Oh yeah, well my people invented nachos" - Easiest way for a Mexican person to win any argument

   I walk around with a city map so people think I'm a tourist and never bother to ask me anything.

   What is this world coming too when people are more afraid of mosquito's than HIV?

   I love riding my red Mustang into work,,, but I am tired of people complaining about horse crap in the parking lot.

   Office crime is real people! I was just held up at PowerPoint.

   If you don't think this quarantine has changed people, I just want to point out that Jake from State Farm is no longer white

   I never realized how many people I know that cared about Britney Spears's sister...

   I keep hearing this week is the big 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. I'm just wondering why we are suddenly celebrating 17th anniversary's like they are significant somehow. Otherwise, shouldn't he wait until 20th or 25th like other dead people?

   Growing up, my mother always used to say in a angry voice : jorje finish up your coffee....there are people in Africa sleeping.... jj

   Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak

   Why people comment on Pics saying sht like: I like this... thats why the "Like" button is there.

   hates it when people use the drive thru ATM for anything more than making a withdrawl.. do your damn deposits inside

   having a 10 second honda is kinda like coming out of the closet, some people may be surpised at first but in the end your still gay

   Why are people talking about Trump and hurricane Harvey, when they are not blasting Obama for Katrina. Am I right?