Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Thre is a special place in hell for people who put ice cubes in wine.

   So in other news...On his last night, Larry King will reminisce about some of his best interviews with people like Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Moses

   If you're complaining about kids playing a game outside while sitting on your a$$ judging people on the internet, you probably need to re-evaluate your priorities.

   statistics show that 97 % of dead people will stop posting statuses.

   Stop adding people you don't know on Facebook as your “friends”. Friends aren't Pokemon cards, you can't collect them all!

   Some relationships in life are like fat people, they don't work out.

   You know you're drunk when you swerve to miss a tree and it's the air freshener in your car!!!!

   Guns don't kill people , My cousin does!!!

   Hillary doesn't suck, it's all those people who support her that suck!

   Whîte people. Please stop saying "like a boss" and "what up dog". That shî† went out with the Clinton administration.

   I wonder if crematoriums give discount to people who die in a fire?

   if our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. what do chinese people use? tooth picks?

   People who own tampon companies have no conscience. How do they sleep at night, with all that blood money?

   If the first person who said: As god is my witness he should strike me down with a bolt of lightning actually got struck, there'd be a lot of dead people in the world for lying or a very lot of honest people. . . So where is this god you speak of.

   As Jesus said: "It's ok to sin as long as you don't forget to ask for forgiveness later." -people who invent Bible Verses

   Hey America and Canadians, the entire world already saw Miss Universe pageant. You people have to wait until 9 pm to watch how Miss Venezuela wins.

   If you're one of the people wasting hours of your life throughout the day watching the live stream of that giraffe that refuses to have her baby, just stop. She'll most likely birth at like 3:30am while you're all asleep anyways. #ShesFakingIt #Shejustfat

   wonders if cupid has a job opening??? I would love to shoot people in the a** and get away with it!!!

   I think people must start requesting some sort of C.V or background profile on paper before engaging into relationships, would be advantages to know things like ful service history, Mileage, accurate shoe size and of cause HIV statuses

   Creating creative statuses is one of the many habits of highly effective people!