Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The people have spoken. Now Women, GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN

   some people are so stupid, if their brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M

   mark wahlberg said "The world needs Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac compared to a lot of people out there." marky mark need to go back to rehab for PCP.

   Draft beer, not people.

   Why do people even bother to say stuff like, “Please say hi to so and so for me” when we all know very well that message is never passed on?

   Right now, millions of people are mourning the fact that their President was born in this country.

   These people don't even know what a "Temporary" refugee means. Temporary, Temporary, Temporary. Say it with me.

   The problem with us beautiful people is that most people hate us.

   People say I am so cruel, but I have the heart of a small child...in a jar on my desk...

   The people made of chocolate from the Hershey's commercials freak me out...

   "What comes after the letter T?" Normal People: "U" Me: "Wait. A, B, C, D, E, F, G....."

   Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him.

   thinks people with parkinsons just have a good song stuck in their head

   I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

   I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes”

   I don't understand why people are so amazed when I say that my grandfather survived Auschwitz. I mean, most German officers did.

   The streets are jam packed full of cars this morning... that speech last night must of created a ton of jobs...get real people

   never understood people watching a football game wearing their team jersey. Thats like me watching CSI dressed as a dead hooker.

   Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.

   Most people on their 16th Birthday get a car, I got an inflatable dinosaur costume and not gonna lie, I'm in love.