CJ Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'CJ': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 9

   messageicon Next time I see a car with like, 90 stick children on it, I am taping a condom to the window.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 20:18 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people make me understand why monkeys throw their poo.
←Rate | 07-21-2011 11:07 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet Bin laden now reqrets letting his Facebook "Check In" at his current location
←Rate | 05-02-2011 11:39 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon A positive to being overweight: you fill the bathtub up real quick, and save money on your water bill.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 11:06 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Debt collectors calling you? They dont call ME anymore after I answer the phone "Homicide, Detective Smith speaking, please give me your full name and direct affiliation with the victim who's phone you've just called." Problem solved!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 13:07 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reminding you to never argue with someone who is not on your level of intelligence. Hand them a box of crayons and walk away knowing that you are smarter.
←Rate | 01-19-2011 10:42 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my a$$!!
←Rate | 05-01-2011 17:59 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
←Rate | 01-07-2010 15:38 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 11:48 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 14:04 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when crumbs fall down your cleavage.....sometimes I think my boobs eat more than I do
←Rate | 04-11-2012 17:44 by Cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it that melted cheese tastes like a zillion times better than regular cheese?
←Rate | 03-23-2012 22:43 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon BEER!!!! now cheaper than gas...DRINK......DON'T DRIVE!!!!!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 00:51 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 19:52 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon •Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 18:46 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow The ones u'd take a bullet for are the ones holding the trigger!!
←Rate | 09-23-2011 19:40 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 10:58 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon girls have unique powers they get wet without water, bleed without an injury & make boneless things get hard.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 14:18 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Having kids is a lot like living in a frat house. Everythings sticky and your not quite sure why...
←Rate | 07-13-2012 12:53 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it I can't get mobile reception sometimes, yet a terrorist can upload his videos from a cave in Afghanistan?
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:37 by CJ Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left