Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   More than 7 billion other people in the world,and not one of them is naked in front me right now. That's not right...

   I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you logged into Myspace."

   I only trust people that like big butts, they cannot lie...

   If you "have to meet with the NRA to discuss whether people on the terrorist watch list should be able to buy guns", then that's a case of the tail wagging the dog and you are showing you are owned by the gun lobby.

   I broke up with my cross eyed boyfriend he was seeing 2 people at once

   police are investigating the 7 winners of last weeks euro lottery syndicate, they dont believe that 7 people from liverpool actually had a job!!!

   Express lanes should have signs banning old people and people paying with food stamps.

   I bet people don't even wear capes in Cape Town.

   "You can't have your cake and eat it too." - People who obviously don't understand what you're supposed to do with cake

   If I could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.

   God traffic sucks today. So glad that 47 per cent of the people in this country don't even try otherwise traffic would be even worse!

   Letting people know they're idiots is my religion.

   People who believe in God shouldn't be allowed to complain about the weather.

   Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????

   I don't get it. The Bible is not allowed in public schools but is encouraged in prisons. Maybe if we allowed the Bible in schools there would be less people in prison. Ever think of that?

   People are posting all their feelings on facebook; well you wanna know what I'm feeling… I don't wanna hear about your sh*t!!!

   It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Which proves that happy people are really f***ing lazy.

   Just tried to park my car like Ace Ventura and now me and several other people are on our way to the nearest hospital.

   We're here today to witness the union of two special people. The lasers we use to fuse them together are very powerful,,,, so goggles on please

   i think before a member of congress makes a speech they should be drunk ....that way they wont lie