Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People are quick to judge others, but slow to notice and correct their own mistakes.

   Always finish your beer. There are thirsty and sober people in Africa.

   I just don't get it. Some people talk about a bucket list but they are to lazy to get a job and buy the bucket.

   The people in diaper commercials look so confident that I think I'm gonna start wearing one.

   Pro tip: Don't play mind games with smart people when you know you are dumb.

   Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens

   It's not my job to fix you, people get paid for that.

   You dating 3 people and you say you are in a relationship!!! Lol nah you are in a group activity.

   WhatsApp now has 2 blue ticks when the person has read the message. I guess I can't ignore people on purpose anymore.

   If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not mean to poor people, like I am now.

   texting people and asking for their phone number.

   Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

   people who criticize today's song lyrics never listened to Blinded by the Light...

   I wish STD's on all people who still say YOLO.

   Roundabouts and retarded people are like round holes and square pegs, you can force them together, but it isn't going to be pretty.

   Relationships are like fat people. Most of them don’t work out.

   And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.

   I heard ove a million people attended Obamas inauguration and only 14 of them missed work!

   To some people iPhones are like a religion. They don't know how it works, but it gives them something to cling to, so their life has meaning.

   We must love and respect one another. Except people who decorate Christmas trees with blue lights. They should be waterboarded.