Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The UK team visited a South African orphanage."Its so good to brighten up for these sad people who are in a hopeless situation," said 6 y/o Mbutu Niaryi.

   People have to recognize that the "do-it-all-mom", as the saying goes, often ends up doing everything but "it".

   just met a lot of people who will corner the market on coal this Christmas.

   laughing at the people on ugliesttattoos.com

   people keep saying I'm not " with it and keep living in the past " screw them I'm off to play on my commodore 64 while I eat a marathon bar

   Tights are the most fashionable trend ever. That was what I thought until people started wearing them with short tops, holes in the butt and a camel toe wedgie!

   are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth

   I went to the shrink coz I've been talking to myself. He asked if I had any stress, told him no. He said, "Don't worry about it then...millions of people talk to themselves." I said, "Yeah, but I'm really boring."

   People's Bull$hit and fakeness are the main reasons why I like to be alone at times!!!

   I used to work at the post office, I told people I was a mail escorts...

   It's what's on the inside that counts, and other things ugly people say.

   People that are happy, keep that sh*t between you and your drug dealer, no one else cares

   Welcome to another day of loneliness brought to you by years of pushing people away.

   I about to start deleting and blocking a whole lot of people who lied about being interesting.

   For my birthday I got a pimp chalice (coffee mug), a jet pack (soda maker) and a Samurai sword (pen). Never give up on your dreams, people.

   I like to drink before I go to the movies, it loosens me up so I can talk to the people around me.

   Who is this Harold Camping retard? Why do people pay him and his mental illness so much attention? Why isn't he locked up in a loony house with other loonies?

   Throwing lamps at people that need to lighten up...

   Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them

   ‎"Oh my god, they have Rolling Rock??!!" - said by maybe 2 or 3 people a year.