Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people spend so much time preaching to the choir..they forget to actually read the words. You are lying to yourself if you don't think you are the problem.

   the people who you babysit for, you should poke holes in all the condoms and ensure yourself at least five more years of babysitting money.

   People now a days throw the word love around like its a goddamn frisbee! How are you going to start dating someone and 4 days later post how much you love them? B!tch you dont even know them!

   Don't depend on other people for your happiness. Depend on alcohol instead.

   People need to stop trending #LMFAO. I've seen obesity statistics, you're not laughing anything off.

   i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings

   Wearing a Santa hat is a great way let people know you're a wild card.

   I spend way too much time figuring out how I'm gonna get drunk.

   facebook ruined it, whatever happen to actually telling people how you feel?! Nowadays you can just hide behind your status...

   If you go to sleep drunk ... are you drunk in your dreams ??

   I am done making fun of fat people, they have enough on their plate already.

   Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.

   People who find your stuff, then claim it’s theirs: 1. Colonialists 2. Sisters

   I have come to the sad conclusion that Common Sense is a lot like a Deodorant! ... Yup ... The people who need it the most .... Never Use It.

   People wonder what happened to rock n roll. I'll tell you. It's now made by computers with no talent people who talk, not sing over the song, or others who over-sing and think The Voice exemplifies what singing should be.

   I like staring into the night sky. There's less people out there.

   Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

   No People ... Contrary to the Main Stream Media reports .... the President Elect ... DID NOT ... appoint Bill Cosby as the new Secretary for Women's Rights.

   I overheard two people at work talking something about removing stubborn fat. Look, I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that's no reason to call me that name and try to get me fired.

   If you can't handle me at my drunk,...join the crowd.