Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks so if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!

   It's really annoying when people tell you to be yourself, just as you're about to turn into a lamp.

   People with a Bluetooth look like they're communicating with Douchebag Mission Control.

   1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands,7 seas, over 6 billion people, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.

   they say we need to do more for the mexican people, which I think we do cause the fences arent electric.

   Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed yo midunderstanding you.

   Man tried to hitch on an Airbus by hiding inside the landing tire... people say he was terminally ill! what a turbulent life...

   Has just realised something; all my role models, idols and people I look upto were all on drugs! :p

   "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

   There is nothing a drunk me and some bullets can't fix.

   Maybe poor people don't even like food,, we don't know.

   The 5th Commandment, Thou shall not kill...Murder. But isn't it funny that more people have been killed in the name of God then in any other event ever on this planet.

   I'll never understand why people admires behavior in a grown man that they would hate to see in a toddler.

   what is with blind people always walking their dogs

   Long Distance Relationships Are For Fat People

   Went to Mcdonals and asked for a sad meal. What?!?!? Dont judge me, Sad people gotta eat too!

   Some of these people I wish would do their ALS Ice Bucket Challenge with a bucket that is a solid block of ice.

   People say Alcohol kills too many people. They don't realize how's my people are born because of it.

   people that say " I hate to break it to you" can't wait to break it to you!

   RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.