Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Man this haterade tastes nasty! How can so many people drink this?!

   You know if I was the ruler of my own country and I thought the people were gonna revolt against me...I would probably give them free rice krispies treats...Cuz aint no way you could stay mad at someone whose giving you free rice krispies treats...

   I wonder how the people in Cairo, Egypt would act if they ever won a championship of some sort...

   wishes people would wear pants correctly!

   the guy who said women are bad at maths, missed out that they also divide the number of people that the slept with by 3!

   Some people struggle with their addictions. I embrace them.

   Trump is the oldest elected President the US ever had, which means we will witness his transition from paying people to pee on him, to him peeing himself.

   If people looked like their personalities Kim Kardashian would be Lord Voldemort.

   Some people only have two senses, Bourbon and revenge.

   Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.

   The C.D.C. says that more people die every year from Diarrhea than heart attacks??? That's NOT good news for me and my family because Diarrhea runs in my "genes",,,No really,, I've got Diarrhea in my "genes" right now

   People should come with a warning label of does or does not wash hands after using the restroom

   Even if you live your life as a open book, people will still wonder which pages have secret messages.

   The grapes of wrath is a fun way to describe a pissed off woman who's drunk on wine

   I'm dreaming of a liberal Christmas, where nothing is paid for, I always sit on the couch with my hand out, waiting for the people with jobs to pay me more.

   Well, the people outside are frightful. And the traffic, is far from delightful. (blocking my intersection) since they got no place to go. people blow people blow people blow...

   give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate...

   I think some people should have two Facebook pages. One for each face.

   People shouldn't be judged by who they date, what skin color they are, and etc..If they are happy together, then let them live their lives..

   The difference between people with tattoos and those without is, people with tattoos don't judge those without...