Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches

   I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you

   People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

   People are going to start thinking we're crazy, well just me, you went past crazy ages ago.

   I dont get when people say "I remember my first beer".... Cause I sure as hell dont..

   confused why these stars adopt kids to have other people raise them.

   If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you...

   thinks Twitter spoils us... if only we could limit people in real life to 140 characters or less.

   I used to believe people wanted to contact me but always found me unavailable. to rectify this I bought a mobile, got BBM, what'sapp, msn, yahoo... what a relief, now I know exactly how many people aren't trying to get in touch with me...

   What is it about stupid people that makes them think they are ALWAYS right, without exception?

   There are 2 types of people. Ones I like and everyone else.

   I don't understand why people want a relationship when there's pizza.

   I love you like drunk people love EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY

   Some people should not have been given the ability to talk and breathe at the same time

   I beleive in shopping locally. Thats why I am the town drunk.

   The absolute worst thing I did when I was drunk was getting married.

   If you don't feel the love on Facebook then you're stalking the wrong people.

   So, I found out I have O.D.D. Obnoxious Drunk Disorder.

   I may not have abs of steel, but I have overheard a lot of people whispering about my "rock bottom".

   I'm getting really sick of people not referring to my work as "unparalleled."