Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   party at camp crystal lake tonight all "people I may know" are invited.

   n't it weird that the majority of people taking a sh!t in a public toilet conveniently have a permanent marker on them?

   Hey there people who start dancing a little to the music playing at Starbucks. Can we talk about you not doing that anymore?

   I forgive people, but that doesn't mean I trust them thereafter.

   Authorities would stop worrying about the number of people who die because of alcohol if they took into account the number of people who are born because of alcohol.

   Nothing says “I need a swift steel-toed kick to the crotch!” like people who silently watch and say nothing as someone is bullied... Except maybe parents who give their children weird @ss names.

   UNUSUAL TRUE FACTS: Every year, four people die trying to put their pants on.

   it's the people who make a party awesome, not the drinks,bro

   Long distance relationships are great cuz you get to date other people in the interim.

   Some people don't know anything about women. And those people are men.

   i love when rich people compliment me on things that I spent less than $5 on

   I always treat restaurant staff with the utmost respect because they are people trying to make a living like the rest of us. Also, because I prefer my soup without spit or urine in it.

   Don't you wish some damn people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.

   If they were to make a porn on my life, It would be fully clothed people apologizing to each other.

   Maybe people who wear Ed Hardy shirts just want people to throw boiling water at them.

   it allowed to go to the dentist drunk? Asking for a friend.

   Half of the times the purpose of my smile is that I want to make some people worried.

   I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them.

   People should never judge Lance Armstrong for being on drugs in the Tour de France races, when other drug addicts have a harder time finding their own bike.

   I always say "Morning" instead of "Good Morning" because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.