Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes really old people scare the sh*t out of me.

   To all of the people whom voted for Obama the second time: There's an idiot on your keyboard right between the letter "Y" and "I"

   My Facebook wasn't working this morning, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people....

   I read someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. I'm not one to judge people, but that guy gets married wayyy too much.

   thinks the best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.

   convinced that if people really follow their dreams no one would get anything done 'cause people would just be having sex with everyone everywhere.

   One good thing about Alzheimer's is you meet new people every day.

   Thanks Fox, but I get my political info from the Facebook posts of crazy relatives and people I haven't seen since high school.

   262 million people have been killed by governments this century. If you believe your chances of being shot by an American citizen is greater than being killed by a dictator that has disarmed the public...you're sadly mistaken!!!

   Sorrry Facebook I trusted you manytimes I will not tell you what s on my mind anymore you keep tell people my secrets

   feels sorry for people who are on trial. Their future is put into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

   i hate it when you go to a vuvuzela concert and people start playing soccer

   You know its going to be a bad week for the GOP when skinny dipping while drunk at a holy site isn't your party's biggest scandal.

   When people say they've "tied the knot",they mean they got married. Or tied a knot around their neck. Which is the same thing anyways.

   Anyone who thinks unemployment benefits keep people from looking for work isn't living on unemployment benefits.

   Here's what's happened in Wisconsin. The people who earn the money to pay these public sector workers -- for the first time -- have somebody representing them.

   Trump groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media ignores it.

   n't the bigger question: How many people attended the Hillary Inauguration?

   well atleast LA knows how to convict GUILTY people . . . maybe FL could learn a few pointers??? . . .

   I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know, hunting elephants.'