Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   if you make her laugh she likes you , if you make her cry she loves you , if you make her drunk she puts out Lmao

   climbing into your windows and snatchin yo people up...

   I think the next reality show should be called "Taking out the Kartrashians." People get to beat them all up and stack them by the curb.

   "So cute! Do you think he'd fit in a crock pot?" The people at this dog shelter have like *no* sense of humor.

   I'm furious at how fast people jokkke about celebrity deaths on the internet.

   6.9 billion people, 6.9 billion different opinions about life, the world, and God.

   Some people say the greatest joy is having a kid, but those people never driven a 600hp V10 BMW M6.

   If I die, I'm gonna become a ghost....... and watch attractive people shower....

   When people "Like" the problems people post on facebook, do they actually like the idea of that person going through the problem?

   I hate these goody-two-shoe people who act like genitals are a curse from the devil himself when they actually a gift from god to be enjoyed at every given opportunity.

   The fact is, whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say...

   When people say to me, "I don't have time", I ask them then why are you still alive.

   Wake & Bake People!!! Who wants a chocolate chip muffin?!?

   I understand how people feel when they see their ex with someone else. I feel the SAME way when I see the pizza guy at somebody else house

   Sometimes life is like a profile picture....you have to ''crop'' people out that no longer deserve to be ''in the picture"

   People who have never had a suicidal thought have probably never touched a wet public bathroom door knob.

   There are some real hearts that get broken by imaginary people and empty promises...so think before you blow that sunshine.

   Be careful of bull sharks, they swim in shallow water. Be careful of bullsh*t too, it swims in shallow people.

   not an alcoholic, just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?

   Why do older people scream into their cell phones?