Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people on Facebook always post funny stuff.. Some people always post lovey dovey stuff.. And Some people posts.. Just make you wana scream..STFU Already!

   omg 109 degrees . its so hot people dont even tan anymore they just rust.

   I think as part of the lap band surgery process you should have to fly to Ethiopia,,, and tell 10 people what it is and why you need it.

   Think I got my Halloween costume.... SNOOKIE! I'll wear clothes 5 sizes too small, paint my body Umpa Loompa Orange, walk around half naked, drunk and screaming "Do you know who I am?!? I'm Snookie Biotch!"

   It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a crap

   Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.

   "I wasn't that drunk." ... "Dude you destroyed my moms garden while yelling, "F**K farmville!"

   7 billion people, 14 billion faces.

   I don't understand some people. It's Black Friday. I just passed a black family at Costco. I shook the father's hand and wished them all a Happy Holiday. The father asked me what's wrong with me.

   BREAKING NEWS: Two cars had an accident in Mexico. 40 people died

   at night all the people go to sleep and I talk to wall....REALLY FACEBOOK WALL

   Any negative people today will be greeted with a high five and a swift ball kick.

   WHAT IF PEOPLE USED CAPS LOCK FOR EVERYTHING THEN USED LOWERCASE FOR EMPHASIS, THAT WOULD BE really weird

   I don’t care what people think of me… At least mosquitoes find me attractive.

   When I die I'm gonna become a ghost & watch attractive people shower.

   Come on guys and gals!!! There are people who visit every day who rely on us!!!

   I line Dance just so I can kick people and get away with it

   In my book, having sex with people comes first and getting to know the person comes second.

   i see dead people...but only when squinting

   The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I just did 15 push ups. True story!