Destiiny Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I went to a gas station today and asked for $5.00 worth of gas, the clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:59 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: grandma, have you seen my pills? they were labelled LSD. Grandma: Fu*k the pills, have you seen the purple dragons in the kitchen..
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:09 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Internet was down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are so fu*kin irresponsible
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:11 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stress is the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living $H!T out of some jerk who desperately deserves it
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:05 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband snores at night, so he bought a bunch of those Breathe Right Strips for me to shove in my ears
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:00 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your ugly when my dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:18 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Two cars had an accident in Mexico. 40 people died
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:22 by Destiiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon BOB THE BUILDER CAN WE FIX IT! Bob: ummm not right now I'm on facebook
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:14 by Destiiny Comments (0)  



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