Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?

   I wonder if people with foot fetishes get off on watching the Flinstones?

   Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social networking, not a diary.

   been getting a lot of calls and texts about R.E.M.'s break up, relax people, it's not the end of the world as we know it.

   pretty sure he knows people who stood in line for a second helping of "a special kind of stupid."

   Sorry nobody seems to want to tell all the spanish people out there so allow me "Osama está muerto."

   I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think some people are taking it as a challenge.

   HOW TO CONTROL PEOPLE: Repeatedly lie to people about a "life-ending event" in the basis of religion enough times to where they slighty believe you and have them talk about it all over the world.

   Just walked in the room and the girl on the news was saying"we like it to be at least 10 inches but we prefer it to be longer than 12 inches.She was talking about people donating hair.Thank goodness.

   Get drunk and screw = dating ... Get drunk and argue = married

   I hate when people only talk to me when they need something.

   Dear Lord; On the road today. Please give me the strength not to run people over and make pancakes out of them. I have no syrup.

   Every branch is full of hard-working intelligent people that always has our best interest in mind...I love the way our government it run. Are you getting this NSA?

   In real world, most of people on Facebook, Internet and twitter would be in prison.

   Nothing wrong with shooting people as long as the right people get shot. -Harry Callahan

   You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

   Just realised something; all my role models, idols and people I look upto were all on drugs!! :p

   People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"

   The best posts are the ones that make you say "I had no idea other people did that!".

   just read 1 in 5 people pee in the swimming pool...WTF, thats what the hot tub is for...