Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people just need a kiss...on the side of the head...with a metal bat

   Piercing your lip is a good way to tell the world you let people pee on you in exchange for meth.

   The only people happier than NY gays tonight are NY divorce lawyers..........

   I think humans should hibernate. We could use an extra month of sleep. Too many cranky people.

   New Years forecast: Partly drunk with scattered shots with 100 % chance of getting laid!

   Evaluate the people in your life; Then promote, demote or terminate! You're the CEO of your life....

   If the U.S. were worried about Assad killing people it would've intervened along time ago. The chemical weapons put Israel under a threat.

   May Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan ROT IN HELL!!! What is wrong with this world...It is a sad, sad day for Ft. Hood , TX ... thoughts and prayers go out to all the innocent people that lives were lost and forever changed by the events of someone they trusted

   St. Patricks Day. The only time of the year when people are proud of having a bit of Irish in them.

   YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED: Send this status message to 10 people and your luck will not change what so ever....

   God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

   SPIRITUAL PEOPLE ENLIGHTEN ME, RELIGIOUS PEOPLE FRIGHTEN ME

   It's Facebook people. Don't put photos of sunsets or cartoons or pictures of you cat.......post a photo of YOU for cryin out loud as your profile (showing some cleavage isn't a bad thing either)

   dislikes people who make fun of Brett Favre just because of his age. Basically all you're saying is "He's older then me, and still play's the game better then I ever will."

   Moment of silence for people who still wear Aeropostale.

   In positive news, 6,694,254,041 people completely unaffected by the Pakistan floods.

   Don't you just hate when people put things in their status that you really didn't wanna know? I hate that. Anyways, I gotta go poop

   If you don't like gay marriage blame straight people. They're the ones who keep on having gay babies.

   I hate when fat people say, “You couldn't walk a mile in my shoes”, I am like, “Look here Fatty, you couldn't walk a mile in your own shoes either.”

   When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them, 'I have it at home in my spare wallet