Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Just wait until people figure out that Native Americans would purchase and trade African slaves for use...

   Movie idea: "Suicide Squad 2". They could just film the reaction of people watching part 1.

   Hey Reality, I've a extremely large list of people you've forgot to slap!

   When you're trick-or-treating, it kind of makes you sad if the people handing out candy are younger than you.

   Some people in my life are as useless as the "AY" in "OKAY", but once in awhile I like to take the time to spell things out so I need em..

   People always ask why I am always so happy, I tell them I start my morning off the same as anyone, a glass of OJ in the am with breakfast- the only differance is the 5th of Vodka I add to mine

   This world will be a much better place when people take care of themselves just for themselves, and not for what other people think of them.

   I only get disappointed by people when I have high expectations, or low expectations, or just expectations.

   Facebook friends: People I know - 75% People I talk to - 20% Real friends - 5%

   If days of the week were people, Mondays would be gingers

   It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt

   Poor people never, or hardly ever, ask for an explanation of all they have to put up with. They hate one another, and content themselves with that.

   If 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea,does that one person enjoy it?

   When people nickname their child "Boo Boo" is that their way of saying their child was an accident?

   I really hate it when people say "that sucks" like it really makes the situation any better.

   tHInks pEOPle WHo TyPE LikE thiS aRe retARDed.

   All cheaters need to come with a warning sign. Like once you cheat your hair turns lime green so people know what you are all about.

   Listen, calling people names says a lot more about you than it does about them you idiot.

   Facebook has revealed that there are many, many people just like me and now I know why the world is screwed.

   "I wasn't that drunk.."Dude, you hugged an old guy with a white beard and cried, "DUMBLEDORE, YOU'RE BACK!"