Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Make your anger so expensive that no one can afford it and make your happiness so cheap that people can almost get it free.

   Tough times never last but tough people do

   Some people have all the luck. They're called "cheaters."

   A huge gym opened up right next to my local bar. No thanks, I'll just stick to my one-armed pint glass curls, drunk friend dead-lifts and pick-my-drunk-ass-off-the-floor push-ups.

   I didn't go see the Social Network because I was worried I'd run into people from high school that I don't remember or didn't like.

   People complaining in the express line about the lady writing a check will be uber ticked when I try to barter a sheep for this 6-pack of Pepsi

   After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.

   I do not look at porn online. I watch online videos where people are so happy to see each other they make love naked.

   Drunk Girls: Can you take a picture of us? Me: Sure! Drunk Girls: You just took a picture of the floor. Me: It's better this way.

   getting drunk on Saturday is like going to work on Monday. Its just something you have too do.

   Why does eating make you fat? People should’t be punished for eating. Why don’t people who wear sunglasses indoors get fat instead.

   I'm not sure if people stopped saying "yolo" or everyone that said "yolo" has died.

   why do people post a pic of every meal that they eat? no one cares...

   People who feel sorry for themselves never feel sorry for anyone else.

   guess how many people gave up looking for work and started selling heroin.

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   There would be less drunk driving in the world if Jack In The Box delivered.

   Becareful how you treat people.... for the toes you step on today may be connected to the @$$ you kiss tomorrow

   Every girl has a slutty friend.....and if you people were any kind of friend at all, you would introduce me to yours

   you know why some people always run their mouths??..because talk is cheap and for some, it's all they can afford