Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   When Attorney General Loretta Lynch was testifying in court about her secret meeting with Hillary's husband, I was struck by the irony of the fact that she was appointed Attorney General to arrest people like Loretta Lynch.

   What a beautiful day to punch people in the face.

   4 out of 3 people struggle with math

   People who work on their tablets all day and play games all night are burning the Kindle at both ends.

   Some people are as useless as a "Sign in" button for Myspace.

   was at a house recently of some people I didn't like when life afforded me the opportunity to empty their bottle of sexual lubrication and replace it with hand sanitizer, On the bright side they should be 99.9% Germ free

   We should start all over again and accept only people who know the difference between ''your'' and ''you're''.

   I don’t know why people will get embarrassed when they take a magazine to the toilet, you should see the looks I get when I take my plunger.

   It's not the followers count that matters, but a few lovely people among those who make it their life to make you felt loved.

   I feel bad for deaf people until I remember Justin Bierber.

   Your cries for attention are like a car alarm at 2 o'clock in the morning.People only notice it because it's annoying.

   Whenever you feel stupid, just look at the trending topics on twitter. There are always people dumber than you.

   I stay drunk because it costs so much to start from sober.

   I wish people would be honest in their FB posts, like, "Happy birthday to my slightly less than average looking kind of friend, Jenny."

   I tell people I listen to Justin bieber just so they wouldn't talk to me again.

   Some people who copy and paste jokes from other's status messages from other sites are idiots… A few seconds ago • Like • Comment

   I must go to work! there are people on welfare depending on me.

   Voicemail should be renamed “messages from people over 40″

   Still don't understand why people say Happy Cinco de Mayo to us. It's not our independence so shut up!

   If you ever feel Stupid just think;There are people out there who won't vaccinate their children,but pay for an anti virus for their computer. Let that sink in.