Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.

   I'm running out of ways to not hit people.

   The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking.

   People who throw foreign words into conversations to make themselves appear cultured are küntz

   I really like the people who say; "60 is the new 40" because I know if I borrow $60 from them, all I have to pay back is $40.

   if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a "selfie"?....that's a "groupie"

   I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.

   Global warming is caused by people being uncool.

   Don't ask me for advice my answer is always get them drunk.

   I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had a woman from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful...

   There are 10 types of people in the world...Those that understand Binary Code and those that do not!!

   People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you're married...that's a job!!

   Sometimes I feel like people are just using me for my likes.

   I don't see dead people, I just see people that I wish were dead.

   I am more convinced than ever that we are fast approaching the idiocracy...that epochal tipping point in our development, where stupid people set the agenda for humanity

   Sorry, but I don't take relationship advice from single people. That's like taking advice on how to jump hurdles from a dude with no legs.

   Some people message me and wonder why I've deleted them from my friends list. And I always respond "Even the trash gets taken out once week around here."

   I hate people who can't make up their minds. I love them.

   Sick of people who cannot handle having their beliefs questioned with well reasoned arguments.

   I am thinking people with Bulimia like KFC because it comes with a bucket!