Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   A Girl that knows she's beautiful never has to tell people about it.

   Thank goodness the weather has gotten nice for once. I was getting sick of hearing people complain about the cold. Now I'm ready for people to start complaining about it being too hot. Whine people....whine!!

   People like to talk about other people....it diverts the attention away from them.

   You know what sucks, when the people you are staying with have a grandfather clock and it chimes the number of hours. Know what sucks more, it is set to military time.

   Guilty people answer questions with a question.

   Try saying Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like a drunk Irish man.

   This year, I'm thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.

   People who pronounce ASAP with the individual letters aren’t pronouncing it as soon as possible

   Remember it didn't start with gas chambers, it started with politicians dividing the people with "us vs. them". It started with intolerance & hate speech and when people stopped caring, became desensitized and turned a blind eye. This is America in 2016.

   Alright people,I want to see jokes during the game. I have people that think I'm funny!

   I use to wonder what'd it be like to read other people's minds....I got Facebook and now I am over it!!

   Recent studies suggest that people are more cynical these day than ever before. Like I'm supposed to believe that.

   It's embarrassing when the people at work complain about me farting in my sleep.

   I don't understand why people spend so much money on dieting when you can just get lost for 3 weeks in a forest for free

   Let's get drunk and make some bad decisions

   There is no such thing as "normal". There is only a lot of weird people doing the same weird things.

   Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's slutty lingerie and saturated fats involved.

   What impresses me more than your facebook friend count hovering at around 5,000...are the same three people that post on your page.

   I feel sorry for the people that actually have Earthquakes today..

   How long before a gator eats somebody on that show called Swamp People? "Choot 'em, Clint, Choot 'em!"